20.
My party, a gnome cleric, a gnome rogue, a halfling druid and a high elven warlock (She’s literally twice the height of anyone in her party) are doing random encounters. We’ve stopped for the night in a clearing surrounded by trees. The gnome rogue and elven warlock are both sleeping in trees (the gnome always sleeps in trees and the elf decided to try it once). Suddenly a giant ogre crashes through the forest, heading for the sleeping companions on the ground. The elven warlock, being the closest, jumps from the tree and attaches herself to the ogre via two daggers. The ogre knocks her off by slamming his back into a tree.
Elven Warlock (OOC): I’m going to use Eldritch Blast.
Spectator: Wait. Does she have Shocking Grasp?
Elven Warlock (OOC): … yes?
Spectator: Okay. You should totally grab the ogre by the balls.
Elven Warlock (OOC): Ohhhh that would hurt. Okay, I’m doing that.
DM: *sighs* Okay, roll for attack.
Elven Warlock: *rolls a 1* Nooo….
Party erupts in laughter.
DM: You go to grasp the Ogre’s special place and instead of electrocuting him, you gently caress him, even exciting him.
Elven Warlock (OOC): *blushing* I am never listening to others again.
(via yourplayersaidwhat)
it’s not my body but it’s me hello!! I felt super pretty after doing my make up today
Wauw so beautiful
Melbourne, Australia
The “fun, nude photography project” is actually porn. Pornographers are using libfem sex posi language to recruit women into doing porn.
Fucking up predatory porn flyers just the aesthetic I was looking for
The sound of the marker is what I’m here for.
I love how we’re all trying to look out for each other
The last one alone is enough to debunk the whole premise that ISIS represents Islam.
I’m going to put this on queue just incase people need reminding
Wow ISIS is breaking every single one of these rules.
^^^^^ Why do you think Muslims don’t acknowledge them and we constantly say their actions are not Islamic.
But you know….the West hears what they wanna hear.
(via hole-milks-blog)
i hate when the teacher’s like “write about a bad time in your life” like i ain’t tryna get a social worker up my ass, thanks tho fam
(via hole-milks-blog)
(via curiouscrybaby)
(via sadwhore04)
A friend of mine nailing it today.
Best. Best.
The fuck us going on in yhe notes
that is a GOOD question
(via anhedonic-slut)
A request from our Patreon, kids Nae and Miyo as Sakura and Tomoyo from Card Captors Sakura!
(via rabbureblogs)
Friendly reminder that allowing underage littles/pets/daddies/mommies/etc your blog if you post NSFW or kink material can get you up to 10 years in prison and can get you on the sex offenders registry for the rest of your life.
It’s called “corruption of a minor” and “pandering obscenities to a minor” and it’s a third degree felony in the US.
This is exactly why I don’t want any minors following me. Please, I don’t care if you’re 17, 17 and ¾, or anything less then 18. Stay off my blog, don’t follow, and don’t browse my page.
Be gone 18 and under!
ppl who think that saying “I love you” to someone a lot makes it lose it’s meaning are so boring literally what could make you think that? if someone tells you they love you like 3 times in an hour it means that 3 separate times they were sitting there and thinking about you and how wonderful you are like. smh. say I love you to everyone that you love as often as possible bc sometimes it’s easy to forget that there are people who love you
(via littlepainprincess)
Raffle raffle.
Hello internet peoples! I’m holding a raffle this week. So yeah. :)
Tickets are: $1 each, 6 for $5, 13 for $10, and 30 for $20. As an extra, I’ll send a video if you buy the $10 tickets, 2 videos if you buy $20 tickets.
First place: 2 hours on Skype, 3 custom videos w/ no limits
Second place: 1 hour on Skype, 1 custom video
Third place: 30 minutes on Skype, 15 custom pictures
A few runner ups will get some premade videos.
I’ll draw names on Saturday. Have a happy week. :)
Do I Dare Disturb The Universe ?