I Promise.

fenland-witch:

cosmic-witch:

eclecticfawn:

I’m seeing this a lot, and I thought I would come up with a spell for witches in this type of situation.

“My OH Won’t Let Me Be a Witch” jar/bottle/etc*;

You will need;

• a jar/bottle/something to hold the stuff in
  
• some pebbles
  
• a crumpled up bit of paper
  
• pen
  
• rose quartz (tumbled, chip, any kind)
  
• (optional) saliva
  
• OH in the room.

Fill the jar half way with pebbles.
Write your SO’s name on the crumpled paper, pop it in the jar.
(Optional) spit on it.
Put a few rose quartz on top of that (until it feels “right”).
Fill jar rest of the way with pebbles.

Stretch out your muscles. Breathe a few times.

Pick up the jar.
Pull your arm back as far as possible.
Throw it as hard as you can at your SO.

This should give you enough time to pack up your shit and leave. If it’s not quite obvious to them that your relationship is over, explicitly state your intent with the following incantation, “It’s not me, it is most certainly you. I’m gone, you’re a twat.”

I’m crying omg bless u

Lmao! Brilliant.