yourplayersaidwhat: My party, a gnome cleric, a...

yourplayersaidwhat:

My party, a gnome cleric, a gnome rogue, a halfling druid and a high elven warlock (She’s literally twice the height of anyone in her party) are doing random encounters. We’ve stopped for the night in a clearing surrounded by trees. The gnome rogue and elven warlock are both sleeping in trees (the gnome always sleeps in trees and the elf decided to try it once). Suddenly a giant ogre crashes through the forest, heading for the sleeping companions on the ground. The elven warlock, being the closest, jumps from the tree and attaches herself to the ogre via two daggers. The ogre knocks her off by slamming his back into a tree.
Elven Warlock (OOC): I’m going to use Eldritch Blast.
Spectator: Wait. Does she have Shocking Grasp?
Elven Warlock (OOC): … yes?
Spectator: Okay. You should totally grab the ogre by the balls.
Elven Warlock (OOC): Ohhhh that would hurt. Okay, I’m doing that.
DM: *sighs* Okay, roll for attack.
Elven Warlock: *rolls a 1* Nooo….
Party erupts in laughter.
DM: You go to grasp the Ogre’s special place and instead of electrocuting him, you gently caress him, even exciting him.
Elven Warlock (OOC): *blushing* I am never listening to others again.

(via yourplayersaidwhat)