I do not understand how some people cannot grasp the fact that YES YOU CAN HURT PEOPLE WITH YOUR PERSONAL CHOICES. Like participating in bdsm CAN AND DOES forward the oppression of all women everywhere! It doesn’t matter if it’s all consensual because the center of bdsm says that women are supposed to be subservient and submissive! And it just reaffirms the misogynistic tendencies that are already ingrained your partners brains. And YES that does affect everyone, whether or not you choose to acknowledge it. So please stop trying to use bdsm as something feminist because /it’s noottttttt/
As someone who is not into BDSM I cannot tell you how much this post angers me.
Firstly you make the assumption that BDSM always involves a man and a woman, completely erasing gay, lesbian and bisexual folk who are into BDSM.
Secondly you make the assumption that in a BDSM relationship between a man and a woman, the woman will always be submissive. That is so unbelievably ignorant and uneducated of you that I can’t even fathom why you are bothering to post on this subject at all. If you are unwilling to do any research on the matter and are just going to talk based merely on supposition, and your own obvious prejudices, then I would ask you not to bother at all.
Finally, I thought feminism was about personal choice? In which case surely having the freedom to choose how to express yourself sexually should absolutely be on the feminist agenda? Surely it is more misogynistic to make the assumption (like you have) that women involved in BDSM are somehow coerced, and are incapable of making up their own mind about their sexual preferences? If anything reaffirms misogyny it is exactly the kind of thinking that presumes women have no control over their own lives, whether it be sexually or otherwise.
As someone into BDSM, listener-blue is my hero.