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funnyordie:

13 Tips for a Perfect Summer Barbecue

You know what Memorial Day means: Barbecue season is here! Follow these tips to throw the perfect summer cookout:

• Once heated, don’t touch the surface of the grill with your bare hands or genitals.
• Remember to make a salad to throw away
• Make sure every song on your party playlist ends with “(Glee version)”
• Plenty of delicious, freshly brewed, piping-hot coffee
• Remind guests that by reading your Kiss The Cook apron, they’ve entered a legally binding agreement. Then put on your Give The Cook a Handjob apron!
• There may be vegetarians at the barbecue, so make sure to have something for them, like a bag of chips and a middle finger.

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